Stories of September by unknow

Author:unknow
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-09-21T18:30:00+00:00

Chapter 3

Perdita

The night was chaos. My youngest sister drew all over the living room wall in whiteboard marker – a scribble fest at toddler height. My seven-year-old brother was in a rage explosion over some game he wanted to play on Mum’s phone, and my eldest two sisters were arguing over which TV show they were watching before bed time.

I’d have normally been in a grump myself, losing my shit over the carnage outside my bedroom door, but it was different that night. I couldn’t stop thinking about Mr Markham… about his stare and his stern expression when he gave me my letter assignment. I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I wanted to please him, even though I wanted him to be angry with me at the same time.

I started the letter three times over, drafting it out in one of my notebooks before I’d ever dare to copy it over to the posh paper in my very finest handwriting. Every time I tried I got frustrated, not quite sure what I wanted to say.

Part of me wanted to be the brat who wrote it’s none of your business, give me a detention, but I didn’t, because a bigger part of me wanted to tell him the truth, and share my deepest secrets, just like he’d told me to do.

It’s hard talking about yourself when nobody usually wants to listen. I felt self-conscious as I doodled on my pages, not sure where to start.

Dear Mr Markham, I’m a bad girl because…

Dear Mr Markham, I’m never a good girl because…

Dear Mr Markham, I don’t know what to say…

I lay back against my pillows, staring up at the ceiling, thinking, thinking, thinking. What did I want to say to the man I’d been crushing over before I knew what having a crush really even meant?

I guessed I should just tell him the truth, wherever that led me.

Dear Mr Markham. You told me to talk to you like this is my diary, and that’s weird for me, because I’ve never had one. I could never risk it with kids snooping around my bedroom, laughing over my words. I used to keep one for my dreams, but Kelsey found it one day when she was trying to find a hair band from my bedside drawer, and she told all the other kids my deepest dreams. She told them how I dreamt I’d met my dad, and even though I’d never met him before, I knew it was him because he came running up to me and grabbed hold of me real tight. I wrote about how it made me cry when I woke up, because I so much wanted it to be real.

Kelsey told everyone in the house and they made fun of me at dinner time. She laughed and pulled a face and said I’d never meet my dad, and even if I did, how could he ever love me when he didn’t know me – he’d probably just think I was a stroppy idiot like everyone else did.

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